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I've constantly been rather permissive of incest. Having said that given that she's your dad's partner I come to feel the connection is relatively unethical and will prevent. You don't want to keep techniques like this from Your loved ones and when you will get outed It may be mortifying.
Nevertheless it must be your decision. If you'd like to go see a psychologist, that is high-quality. If you do not, which is great too, but if you don't see a psychologist, you might have to consider the likelihood that you won't get any better, or at the least, that You may have a tougher time convalescing all by yourself.
So this is a very very long testament for people who it's possible are a lot less threatened by mother/son incest than by father/daughter. They are really Similarly reprehensible and harmful. Outside of the physical manifestations of abuse, the psychological hurt is what lasts a life time.
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Wish you luck. Starting point is acknowledging you've an issues not of your own private building. That does not take care of it but stops you finding bogged down with guilt and disgrace.
Depending on exactly how much hay you are feeling is warranted to create of it, you might wanna search for counselling for rape.
That which you're undergoing at this moment is a form of psychological and social isolation, which you have admitted isn't great for the nicely-getting or progress. And I understand the feeling... but before I continue, take note: I haven't been abused such as you are already (unless you feel like it was not abuse; that is admittedly up that you should make a decision), and that's a major difference, so I am not expressing that I could completely realize what you've been as a result of. But, I would like to Enable you to realize that incestuous thoughts happen to Rather a lot of men and women, especially in those whose psychological progress was robbed from them, by their mothers and fathers.
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Weirdedout, I picture that needs to be such a challenging problem to deal with. I love how you are clear and agency with the son and sought support.